Books I Want...a blog for myself

Thanksgiving has gone, and now it seems like there is no time at all before Christmas is here.  Which is a happy feeling as well as stressful.  I graduate on the 17th, and I keep thinking - I have so much to do before then.  I have 5 tests.  That's it.  It doesn't seem like much, but they are in the span of 7 days - that's the kicker.  Stress levels are high, but the Christmas trees in my living room help to elicit calm - even when there is none is the foreseeable future.


Hubby and I decided to get gifts for each other this year.  This seemed like a good idea at the time we decided, but I have no idea what to get him.  Unlike me, he does not have perpetual lists of things that he wants (to my knowledge, anyway).  I have a list on the Notes App of my phone and it even has two categories: Things & Books.  I love books.  If I could just live at Barnes & Noble, or at my imaginary Amazon.com's Library....it would be a happy day.  I know there are libraries, but libraries smell after some time...couldn't live there.

There is one book, in particular, that I have my eye one:

This seems to take all the books in the Hebrew Bible, arrange them in the order that the Hebrew Bible is in, and then puts on verse-by-verse commentaries for the passages.  It also includes different rabbinical interpretations and texts, articles from Jewish Scholars, and a few articles on the different ways to interpret the bible! :D

Call me a nerd, but this is exciting! Other's I am interested in are:

I read the back of the cover at a professor's house once and the book has stuck with me.  It refers to the one verse in the Qur'an that talks about the crucifixion of Jesus. "But they killed him not, Nor crucified him, but so it was made to appear to them, and those who differ therein are full of doubts, with no (certain) knowledge, but only conjunction to follow, for of a surety they killed him not." (4:156-159)  This is the verse that the text deals with - and it seems absolutely enthralling! :D

Just sounds interesting - I love Borg & Crossan books, own several of them and am currently reading The First Christmas which discusses what we know about the Infancy Narratives and how this gives them a different/deeper meaning because of this knowledge.

Just a few things I have had my eye on - in the Book column of my list, haha.

One of the reasons I have been putting off buying this i because of the possibility of getting an eReader for graduation.  I don't want to bog myself down with pages and pages and pages if I can have digital copies...so we'll see!

The end.  Class is starting.

Shut the world out? No, thanks.

My hubby is blogging everyday, and it makes me want to blog again.  Now, he's been blogging everyday for over a month and I am writing ONE blog post - I'm not too inspired, but it's baby steps.  I came across an amazing music video the other day by a fairly popular artist.  It was beautifully and creatively executed - so I went to iTunes (of course), and looked at other songs on the album.  Now, it IS a Christian artist - I only divulge this information because it is crucial to what my actual blog is about.

Digression: I don't usually seek out "Christian" music because, to be honest, I'm a little bitter about what the general public think of when they think "Christian" and I don't want to be lumped in to the mediocre general population of the majority of North America.  That being said, "No, I don't have another word to use.  No, I don't have a better way of describing myself easily.  No, I'm not ashamed of being a Christian (for all those who are judging me right now).  No, no, no."  Take what you want from this rant.  The end.

Continuation: On iTunes, you can look at what different people have to say, comments, feedback, etc. about the album that you are pondering purchasing.  Now, the first comment on there said a little of this and a little of that...but then, it said this about the music of the album:

"It brings the kingdom in and shuts the world out"

...hmmm, I guess there are different ways to take this.

1) It brings the kingdom in (like good feelings while listening?) and shut the world out (the noises of the workplace/home/car/etc. of wherever you are?)

2) It brings the kingdom in (heaven/future?) and shuts the world out (like, the present?)

3) It brings the kingdom in (God's metaphysical reign on earth?) and shuts the world out (again, like, the present?)

4) It brings the kingdom in (Christian bubble-ness?) and shuts the world out (exclusion of everyone who isn't in the Christian bubble?)

And to be honest, with the unfortunate events of my personal life and job in the past day - I interpreted this statement as #4.  Now, if you are not able to sense the progression of sarcasm in that list, I am being a little snarky now (fyi).  Is the goal of the average Christian to look forward to those experiences and moments where we feel super Christian-y resulting in everyone different than you being shut out entirely -- and this being something great?

Maybe I'm not being clear enough - the snarky getting in the way?

What I'm trying to say is this: The point of living this life is not to constantly surround oneself with the things one is familiar with and the things that are similar to one.  (And I know a lot of the blogs I have written are religiously tainted, but I'm a religious studies major, it's what I tend to notice - and have much to say/critique).  Is the goal in life to never be challenged?  As a Christian, the reason I don't want myself lumped in to the general population is that I want something different than what Christianity has been known for/seen as for the past half-decade.  And you know what I'm talking about - so don't get defensive.

People need to realize that we live on a huge planet - literally- with billions of other people - all different, in every way.  All of these people have things to offer each other.  I'm sure there is something I can recognize for myself that someone across the world is doing or finding value in that is different from what I am.  This is not a threat to who I am or what I stand for - it's a recognition that I am imperfect and regardless of what I tend to think (as a selfish person), I can learn from and appreciate other people in both our similarities and differences.

This is scary?  Yeah.  This requires me to forget about my self and try new things? Yeah.  This is a threat to who I am? No.

Taking something I learned from my Hubby, I charge whoever stumbles across this post (sorry, unfortunate souls), with this:

Find something outside of your 'bubble" worth your while.  Something worth your time and energy.  Something worth your respect and consideration.  Or Someone - go a step further and find someone "other" than you and begin a relationship that will rock your world.

It'll be fun.

Promise.

Last Storybook Installment - Reuben's Account

REUBEN:  (He is sitting in his chair, hunched over with his elbows resting on the tops of his thighs.  In a deep, soft, melodic voice he begins.  The ball looks like a child’s toy in his big hands. ) I needed to get back on my father’s good side.  Father was mad at me - so mad that he was going to take away my inheritance.  I had taken part in slaughtering some of his cattle.  It was a mistake, and I killed too many.  I should have waited to see if we had enough, but I just wanted to get it done - I had better things to do.  Because of this, father was angry.  One day, we - most of my brothers and I - were away from the house.  We were days away and father sent Joseph to find us. I assume it was to make sure we were all okay - which we were.  He was such a punk...we all hated him.  He knew we hated him so I don’t know why he came to us, alone, and unarmed.

(He lowers his head and stares at the ball as he turns it slowly in his hands - not worried. He is very casual about the events of his story, almost psychotic.)

REUBEN: I’m not the smartest person, but I could feel that this was my moment.  I needed to be cunning and quick without being too obvious.  We hated Jospeh, and with good reason.  He would prance around the house and fields, wearing that stupid coat father had given him.  His hands were soft from being lazy and taking advantage of father’s adoration of him.  As he approached our tents, I could feel the hatred rising between us all with each step he took closer.  It was a palpable, intense hatred.  The surrounding noises of the desert even seemed to quiet on his slow approach.  Simon wanted to kill him right then and blame it on some thieves; that’s what father was worried about in the first place when he sent Joseph to make sure we were alright. (He is unnervingly calm as nothing falters in his voice.  He continues, steadily.) I needed to be quick, and I was.  Hastily, I spoke with Simon and Gad and convinced them that Joseph wasn’t worth our efforts in trying to kill him. An easy kill is much less gratifying than a slow and horrific murder.  I needed to keep everything in order if I was going to come out ahead in all of this.  I was going to have my inheritance, by God.

(Everyone is looking a little nervous, including THERAPIST.  They are staring at each other with worry in their faces.)

REUBEN: I suggested that instead of killing him, which would have been too easy, that we throw him in a deep pit filled with scorpions and snakes.  Since I was the oldest, my brothers didn’t see a problem with this suggestion.  As much as I wished he would suffer a slow and painful death, I needed him alive. I planned to stay behind when my brothers left the next morning for Egypt. I explained, to my brothers, that I needed to make sure he stayed put and didn’t escape. However, this was the perfect opportunity to save him and get him back, generally unscathed, to father.

(He begins to get a little angry.)

REUBEN:  Perfect plan.  Joseph in agony and Reuben back in father’s good graces - pure brilliance.  (He begins to yell, suddenly.) But no! I waited all night, gloating about how it was going to turn out.  No!  My stupid brothers, only thinking of themselves and the measly profit they could make, sold Joseph.  NO! (talks faster) When I went to get him, he was gone!  My brothers came back and told me what had happened: they had sold Joseph to some cheap merchants for a pathetic amount of money!  They were too stupid and dense to see what needed to happen.  They would have hated me for it, but they couldn’t realize what it would’ve meant to father.  They didn’t have anything to lose, but I did, and I had lost it.  Father never granted me my inheritance after that.  All of Joseph’s dreams came true, and in the end he became king of Egypt...bastard.  He gained everything that I should have had, and I will never forget.

(Reuben stands up and silently sets the ball down on his seat.  He looks at everyone in the circle and strides out of the room as if nothing was wrong.)

THERAPIST:  (Once she comes back to the situation, she calls to Reuben as he is almost at the door.)  Reuben, please come back. We are not finished here.  (He doesn’t turn back but opens the door and walks out.  THERAPIST is a little unnerved and doesn’t quite know what to say.  She mumbles a little under her voice - some broken thoughts.) ...alright.  Well, we still have ten minutes left in the session...um...do any of you want to talk about what just happened here? (smiles weakly) 

(silence for quite a while)

THERAPIST: Okay...I guess we’re done?  I will see you all next session. You are free to leave.

(Slowly, intermittently, the guys all stand to leave.  No one says a word, and THERAPIST is left sitting in the room staring at her notepad, still.  She lets out a quick breath, looks up, pats her hair to make sure it’s fixed, straightens her glasses, stands up, pauses a moment, lets out another breath, and walks out of the room.  The lights dim on the empty room. The only bright light that remains is on the chair with the red ball. The only thing you can hear are THERAPIST’s heels as she walks down the linoleum hallway.  The sound gets softer and softer until silence.  Black out.)

Author’s Note: The original story mentions that Reuben had the plan to not kill Joseph, but to put him in a pit in order to get on his father’s good side again.  I liked this element of the story, and wanted to keep it in the retelling, mainly because I didn't want all of the characters to have redeeming qualities from their side of things.  Reuben was the oldest and he would have been responsible for whatever happened, yes, but I wanted him to be psychotic.  He needed to have that sadistic edge that was unnerving to read about.  The original story said that Joseph knew his brothers hated him, and that everyone knew except their father.  It all works out in the end, though, because Joseph eventually becomes King of Egypt and all is well.  Also, my story ends rather abruptly, which is intentional.  With this being the last story of my storybook, I want to leave the readers with something to think about.  Not everything is resolved and not everyone is seen in a more positive light. I wanted Reuben to come off as a darker personality than how he is portrayed in the original story.  With the Serpent, for instance, I wanted him to be pitied and Cain, I wanted him to show his remorse.  I needed Reuben to be the character that was so twisted, you hate him more after reading his side. The focus on the red ball at the end shows that even though they each had a chance to share, there is an uneasy, lingering element that cannot be removed.